Missing you...

As we have been waiting to slowly move through this adoption process I've been trying to put my finger on the feeling that I have. The word that comes to mind most often is the word missing. It is a feeling that I miss this precious little being that I haven't even laid eyes upon yet. The definition of the word 'missing' is absent; lost; or lacking. All three of these words are an appropriate way to define how I feel through this process. Our lives are currently absent of the sound of a little girl giggling away as her big brother chases her through the front yard. The times of seeing our little girl grow as an infant is time that is lost for us. Our home is currently lacking a little girl dressed in the perfect little tea party attire. These things and so many more are the things that drive this feeling of missing our little girl.

Although this feeling of missing our daughter can stir negative emotion and at times frustration, I am trusting that one day those feelings will be replaced with joy of her presence. I am anticipating the laughter that she and her brother will share. The love that he will have for his sister, as I see it in the way that he plays with our young neighbors. I am anticipating being able to dress her up in the cute little outfits that I can't help but peek through when I happen upon them at the stores. I am even anticipating the time that God will redeem once she is here with us. Though we can never get the time back that we will miss, we can enjoy every moment to its fullest when we are brought together...someday.

In the meantime, while we wait, we will continue to fill our time with the joy of watching Eli become a wonderful young man. We will spend our energy helping him navigate through this time called adolescence. And we will continue to prepare our home and hearts for the little girl that God is preparing for us in Haiti.