Today we headed to the orphanage at around 9am again. It
ended up being an emotional day for me. I found myself tearing up multiple times
over different things. It is a combination of exhaustion, the ups and downs of
this journey, the raw emotions of Haiti and the poverty we are seeing and the
thought that this is still just the beginning of the process. We still have
more waiting ahead of us and this time our hearts truly are attached to this
little one.
Today we took some donations in today so we went to find the
person to drop them off to. As I waited for Shawn and our translator to unload
the donations, a group of littles arrived around me. When I looked down there
was my Sweetpea looking up at me ready for me to pick her up. We headed up to
the balcony and I took her to change her into a t-shirt that I made for her to
match the shirts Shawn and I were wearing. Eli had a lacrosse game today, so we
thought it would be fun to wear our EL Lacrosse shirts in support of the boys!
T looked super cute in her little jean shorts and t-shirt.
We started out with T asking for “chocolat”, which is what
she called the pediasure shake that I had given her the first day. She really
likes her chocolate drink! She played with a magnetic book I brought and she
had me read her a book and she repeated every word I said. I know she didn’t
understand any of the words, but she did a great job repeating everything. J
Around lunchtime a nanny brought up a bowl of something that
looked like rice pudding. T only had a couple bites and she was done. This was
my second sign that she might not be feeling well. She seemed warm to me and it
seemed unusual that she would pass up food. Instead she directed me as to which
of her friends she wanted me to feed spoonfuls of the food. This made me teary
for two reasons. The first reason is that I have seen a few glimpses over the
past few days of a caretaker’s heart in her and it warms my heart. The second
reason is because it makes me sad to see how hungry these kids are. It is
heartbreaking.
Another tender moment for me was when I was carrying T back
from the bathroom this afternoon. I kissed her on the cheek and within a couple
seconds I felt a reciprocated kiss on my cheek…unsolicited. It melted my heart
right then and there!
In the afternoon T seemed to be content just sitting in my
lap. She didn’t seem herself. I know it is only day 3, so it is hard to say we
know what “herself” is, but she just seemed off. She didn’t seem like the happy,
joyful, and full of energy girl we met the first two days. She seemed down and
without a whole lot of energy. She ended up falling asleep on me for about an
hour. Although I would prefer that she wasn’t feeling sick, I was in my glory
holding her while she slept. As I sat there I wished that there was more that I
could do for her and communicate with her better about how she was feeling. She
woke up and just laid on me the rest of the time we were there.
When it was time for us to go there were more tears. I
changed her out of the shirt that I made her so that we can take it back home
and keep it for her. I feel horrible at the end of the day taking things off of
her to put back in our bag so that we have it for her for the next day, such as
her shoes and sunglasses. If we keep them on her we likely won’t see them
again. They become property of the orphanage and are free to be used for anyone.
Every time I take her sandals off of her I envision the Cinderella story. I cannot
wait to make this girl a forever Princess when she comes home. Please, Lord let
it be soon.
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